Source: Undocumented Housekeeper at the Mara-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida, who was threatened with being reported to ICE if she filed for overtime; Flight Attendant on Air Force One who narrowly escaped a pussy grabbing.
President Donald Trump is well known for the searing playground taunts he sticks to his opponents like he’s rubber and they’re glue, such as calling a female United States Senator and esteemed Harvard Law professor “Pocahontas,” which is pretty funny if you are stupid, or dubbing Haiti and several African nations “shithole countries,” because of all of those Black people in them. But for some reason, he has been unable to come up with a suitable and useable nickname for Vice Presidential Nominee Kamala Harris, finally settling on the not even rhyming “Phony Kamala”.
But not for the lack of trying.
This morning, the T-File received documents from two separate sources detailing Mr. Trump’s increasingly desperate brainstorming sessions, which involved scribbling on an Air Force One notepad and cocktail napkins from the Mar-a-Lago Club, both of which were retrieved from the trash.*
Due to the distressed nature of the documents and Mr. Trump’s nearly illegible handwriting, we have transliterated the text using a proprietary AI.**
SO RUDE
RUDE-ALA KAMALA
KAMALA HARRAS
KAMALA HER ASS
KAMALA HUGE ASS!
RUN BY IVANKA
KAMALIB
KAMALIBBER
KOMRADE KAMILLA
COMMIE KAMALA
COMMIE-LA HARRIS
UNCHRISTIAN KAMALA
CHRISTKILLING
BAD KARMALA
KARMALA CUMEALIAN (sic)
KAMALA LAMA DING DONG
NASTY KAMALA
NA-A-STY KA-A-MA-LA-LA
SHE’S A NASTY B, K?
PLAY BITCH IS BACK
KA-MONSTER HARRIS
KAMALASTEIN!!!
(MONSTER NOT JEW)
MAN-YANA HARRIS
MAN HANDS HARRIS
NEED SOMETHING!
HALF N HALF HARRIS
JAMALA HAJI
NOT RACIST (JOKE)
BLACK N TAN-ALA!!
PLAY BROWN SUGAR
FUCK MICK JAGGER
Also, when it turned out Joe Biden was not so sleepy after all, Mr. Trump brain-dumped a few alternatives.
*And were very obviously Photoshopped.
** Nope. Also, the handwriting is a font called Quid Pro Sans, courtesy of Jones Knowles Ritchie, a creative marketing firm based in London, New York and Shanghai. It’s free.